Saturday, 3 September 2011

Jesters Pies

Jesters Nedlands on Urbanspoon
So anyway, it seems as if Jesters has changed their slogan from Funny name, serious about pies to Ridiculously Tasty. Hmm, I think this can be said about their freshly made to order crunchy golden chips but making the claim World's best chips takes guts and DAMN GOOD chips!

Jesters is a franchise specialising in pies and housemade sausage rolls, as well as various coffees, smoothies, cookies, slices and chips on offer, depending on each individual store.
So yeah, this was my one heck of a healthy, nutritious breakfast that got me through the day like 2 hours.

Ugly pie innards
The revolting image above is a dried up, cold, microwave-revived pie. I am aware it resembles a bulging, wrinkly, sad looking pie and how disappointing it would be to eat. But it wasn't too bad! - Just don't reheat pies in the microwave because the pastry becomes lifeless, limp and soggy.
More ugly pie innards
To the right of the pie filling is the very delicious reddish outback-dirt-style looking Hunter. The Hunter boasts fresh venison, wild smoked bacon and beef, simmered with various spices, ale and topped with redcurrant jelly. Personally I reckon the addition of the jelly is unnecessary, besides making the pie suddenly sounding all exotic. It liquifies with heat and leaks out burning everything in its way, including your fingers, mouth and tongue.

To the left, to the left is the second vegetarian choice that Jesters offers for a temporary time, called the Spanakopita but more affectionately known as The Spanky. With shredded spinach, sparsely found sundried tomatoes and isolated olive pieces and cream in a feta, parmesan and cheddar cheese sauce, this is one calorific vegetarian choice.

THREE CHEESES IN ONE PIE!, is that fat or is that obese?! Surprisingly it tastes so much like a regular pizza. Pizza in a pie, TWO JUNK FOODS together! But with much more sparsely populated ingredients compared to a pizza.
This is how Jesters has healthy pies - they just don't give you anything to eat. :(

Chip box & Aioli dip
They've got this fresh, new makeover with their packaging going on. It's all a bit weird and stuff but who cares, the awesome chips aren't compromised. Freshly deep fried, piping hot and crunchy loaded with a heap of chicken salt, these really are the best chips evaaaaaaarrr.
After voraciously downing the chips, it may leave you feeling a bit dry mouthed and dying for water. But just remember the good times you just had a moment ago and all is forgiven.

To keep up with their World's Best Chips claim, quality is maintained by making the chips fresh only when you order, not like the sad waiting chips you get at fast food chains that put themselves to shame.
And the aioli is good schtuff.
And they are not only good for chips!...

S for _____
Seeing this scrumptious little pie makes me so excited and jittery.
S is definitely for salivateeeee
My face is going to end up like a pie soon enough.

Aioli Steak
Like I said, aioli is good for so many things, and is one of those magical things that have the ability to make everything taste better. A dollop of this on that and that becomes magic. Soo the usual Stockmans (chunky steak in a rich onion gravy) gets a little makeover with some whitening cream and the end result is DELICIOUSSS!
Satay chicken
Within the same pie is also the Nutty Chook filling, comprising of a mix of lean breast meat chicken, potato and capsicum in a creamy satay sauce. It's good, but the chicken fillings that go into pies tend to contain less meaty chunks compared to their beef counterparts.
But sauce is abundant and meat is sparse.
If you're lucky you might even get meat in your pie! :P

Fererro Gelato
The swirly pattern of layering the gelato creates a work of art you don't want to ruin. But once you ruin it you can't stop ruining it because it tastes so good. And it's 93% fat free supposedly, so you can eat it without worrying it ends up on your thighs! ;)
A chocolatey and refreshing treat that rapidly transforms into ice cream soup.

Crushed topping
Complete with a flattering smashed fererro rocher chocolate ball on top to reiterate the flavour of the gelato. Doesn't really add much to the overall flavour, would be better if nuts were distributed throughout the rest of the cascading ripples of ice cream, mmm.
Caramel slice
Looks wise, if you are a shallow person when it comes to food, you would probably pick this slice over the others. With 3 decadent layers all equally as sweet, you may find yourself in sugar high afterwards.
A thick slab of caramel sandwiched with a shortbread crust and a topping layer of a solid block of chocolate are the compilations to this hefty slice, with the sticky, sweet, ooey gooey caramel being the star of the show.

3 different textures intertwining together with 3 different degrees of sweetness - may result in 3 reactions: mmm - toooo sweeeeet - ugh!

Honey Macadamia Slice
I go nuts for this. Every time. Without fail. Har har har.
Its a nutter's dream to see a myriade of almonds, pecans and macadamias all tightly bound together with a coat of syrupy honey latticed with shredded coconut strips. With a oats biscuit crust base as the only not-hard thing about this slice, be prepared to chip your teeth.

Lime Brulee
I have yet to be able to triumphantly claim that I am able to finish one of these. The whole slab becomes so sickly sweet that it could send you into a sweet coma if you're not a hero at challenging your sweet tooth.
You definitely need a whole row of sweet teeth to gobble this slice up! They get stuck everywhere, like adhesive tape to your teeth, gums, roof of your mouth, your smile!

Nevertheless, it does have a rich tangy flavour, although not reminiscent of lemon. But it does melt in your mouth after it has fun exploring and disintegrating all over the place!

Chocolate brownie
The classic brownie stays classic and delicious. It's just the right amount of sweetness and has a texture somewhat like a moist chocolate cake infused with, it seems, crushed macadamias and dusted with icing sugar.
The softness of the slice coupled with the faint crunch of the crushed nuts throughout makes for perfect dessert and leaves the priceless chocolate-stained smile.


Jesters offers a large variety of unusual but creative and imaginative creations of pies that differentiate themselves to the normal average standard pie. To emphasise the dynamic nature of the business there's an ongoing, ever changing, rotational "pie of the month" on offer every few weeks to keep the spark alive.

Fun and quirky yet sometimes uninspirational pie names complement the daring and unconventional approach to putting different ingredients in pies - how about some mango chutney or hollandaise sauce in your pie? :O

$4.70 probably won't fill you up, cause it definitely doesn't do it for me. I don't even think $9.40 would satisfy my insatiable appetite.
When it comes down to the bottom line, go for the chips.
You won't regret it.
But you will regret not getting it.

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